Which Two Humans are You Sending to Greet the Aliens?

The question of the day on this week’s Friday voicemail episode that we release on Thursdays but used to release on Fridays: Which two humans are you sending into space to greet the aliens before they land on earth for the first time? 

So what’s the best approach here? Obviously you want to send people with some skill in intergalactic diplomacy. That’s the smart move but it’s also kind of boring, isn’t it? Do you send smart people? Kind people? Welcoming people? Funny people? Hot people? Ruthless people? Do you send David Blaine and/or the Mind Freak? Shaq? The Rock? Dolly Parton? Fulton Oil and Gas? 

Maybe we send someone’s sweet grandparents to be the first humans they interact with. The spaceship door opens and Grandma is waiting at the end of the ramp wearing a sweater she knitted and holding an apple pie. Grandpa dozes off during the sitdown which will further illustrate how nonthreatening we are as a species. Then Granny sends the little guys on their way with earlobe rubs and cheek pinches to make them feel safe and welcome. Impossible to be aggressive against humans after that.

Anyway, we had a lengthy discussion about it Thursday, during which one of us suggested sending Henry Cavill and Sydney Sweeney for reproductive purposes in case the whole situation turns south. As if the aliens are going to sit there and watch them make a baby while they’re exterminating the rest of the human race? And why is it important that the baby is hot? I didn’t really follow and you might not either. 

Also, Dave repurposed the sound of a 1920s car horn as the new horny horn. I realize that may not make a ton of sense to you right now but you’ll understand once you listen. 

Listen to Thursday’s Friday Voicemail episode now.