This has been a long time coming.

One pandemic, two offices, and three years living in Austin later. It’s time. I invite you on this journey with me.

I don’t know what the word “fajita” means.

On the surface there isn’t much there. “Yeah, I’ll have the fajitas - chicken please. With a side of the Molcajete.” Then there’s the “Ummm, let’s go with the chicken fajita quesadilla”. Maybe you mix in a “filet fajitas, my friend!”.

All perfectly acceptable phrases I’ve uttered countless times since moving to the Wild* West.

*There’s a Chipotle no more than a 5-iron from our office and I’ve sent wine back for being “too dry” on more than one occasion. It’s hot though and I saw a dead black widow spider once.

The delightful sizzle is enough to make you forget the world for a while. The way you control your own destiny when it comes to the amount of pico you use or shredded cheese, as it is the only way you can have your fajitas. You hear your friend Dillon yell across the table “ayyy you little bitch toss me the shreddy letty” before dunking your grilled chicken in boiling hot garlic butter. But what does it all mean?

I’ve been afraid to ask out of sheer embarrassment. The one time I made any sort of attempt to get to the bottom of this internal mystery was at HEB when I asked an employee “where is the fajita sauce”. I liked the flavor of Matt’s El Rancho fajitas and hoped to recreate them in my kitchen. They looked at me like I was a lifelong Yankee who had no business dabbling in Mexican cuisine, let alone finding an adjacent sauce in the store. Spoiler alert - there is none.

I’ve talked to my (extremely unhelpful) coworkers about fajitas and they utter something along the lines of “if you know you know, you moron”. We don’t have HR.

I’ve refused to google it, hoping by some miracle of cultural diffusion the fajita picture becomes more clear to me. I initially thought it was a flavorful coating - much like a barbecue sauce. Then I thought it more a style that you can specifically order, much like a quesadilla or an enchilada.

But therein lies the problem - it was two things at once in my upstate New York brain. And then I was thrown for the ultimate loop when I was asked if I wanted any “fajita peppers” in my burrito bowl. Of course I did. But, again, what did that mean?

Back to square one.

If not a sauce, a style, or a flavor, then what is a true “fajita”? For the sake of clarity, here’s what Webster’s says:

“A fajita, in Tex-Mex cuisine, is any stripped grilled meat with stripped peppers and onions usually served on a flour or corn tortilla. In restaurants, the meat is usually cooked with onions, and bell peppers. Popular condiments include lettuce, sour cream, salsa, guacamole, mushrooms, pico de gallo, shredded cheese, refried beans, and diced tomatoes.”

So there you have it. One, a fajita is officially a Tex-Mex “dish”. Which is absolutely astounding because on MULTIPLE occasions restaurants have branded their chicken as “fajita chicken” which basically just means it’s grilled. I’ve been duped, hoodwinked, led astray.

And two, fajitas are fucking tacos.

I'm Ready To Admit It