Who Are Our Listeners? A Washed Investigation
What is Washed Media? It’s a question we’ve struggled to answer for a while. I always say it’s somewhere between happy hour in podcast form and the network equivalent of the old bag of sports equipment in your garage. Not polished around the edges but still could get it done in a pinch. Past the peak but not over the hill. Decent, sure, but not perfect.
So we decided to turn to our audience. To help us figure out who “we” are, why not ask our listeners who “they” are.
We put together a survey (fill it out so we can sell your data, please) that asks participants to "describe your aesthetic.”
Here’s what we got:
Picture the smell of fresh cut lawn (stripes popping), Traeger smoke, and a fresh squeezed lime over some Tito’s and topo. Probably Buffett or 90s country playing
See, this is what I expected. And I’m happy to lead off with it. As close to a “standard” Washed listener aesthetic as we thought. As you’ll see, that’s not exactly the case.
Outdoorsy in a way of drinking in nature and taking a long shower and a face mask after.
I think I fall neatly into this category. Hey check out this picture of this 2.3 mile hike that we accomplished in an hour with $400 worth of gear on. Maybe saw 3 deer. Also acceptable: rustic 4-bed lake house renovated in the last 5 years because we’re not huge fans of spiders.
Well crafted and detail focused, a blend of mid-century, timeless, and modern design. Skews premium but not always too luxury.
So you’re a current model year Jeep Grand Cherokee.
Retro maximalist with a Laura Dern from Jurassic Park flare
Am I just realizing I’m kinda into 1993 Laura Dern? Also how spot on would retro maximalist be as a cover band name?
Fine wine, man.
Granola Light with a side of corporate cynicism
Read: you feel a little guilty about buying a Subaru because it supports a gigantic corporation’s bottom line and a worsening climate crisis but less so because that puppy is getting 33 MPG city
Lesbian jam band bitch
Let’s party
The next evolutionary step from frat style. Not quite full dad mode yet, but the interstitial space between frat and dad.
I never thought I’d read the sentence “interstitial space between frat and dad” but here we are. Warriors -4 tonight, player.
Still trying to figure it out. Am a recently single again Dad so not trying to be just a Dad. But a Dad with some swag.
Hang in there, my man.
Like Schmidt from New Girl if he grew up Catholic in Connecticut
Are we properly rating New Girl? Like it absolutely should be in the conversation with The Office, Always Sunny, P&R, Curb - all the all-time comedy series’. Schmidt is arguably a top 3 character in comedy history and if you’ve never given the show a chance you should.
Chilling at a bar after getting fucking torched by clients for the 5th 80 hr week in a row
Your email on a Monday after a long weekend is nowhere NEAR as scary as this guys.
Sunday Scaries vibes -- hungover millennial woman most likely wearing a black top and blue jeans slinging a lulu fanny pack and drinking iced coffee at the farmers market
Ok what’s the deal with the black top? The black top and blue jeans combo all of a sudden hit the scene and it became so prevalent so quickly it’s almost like a group text with the entire female population got a message. It’s a great look, sure, but I’m amazed at the degree of adoption. It’s almost like we’re not sure how all dads rock the same stuff? They don’t follow TikTok nor do they care about what they wear but it’s somehow all the same? Can only point to *dad senses* which, like dad jokes and dad strength, are obtained through the stars only after you’ve had a child.
Fits in well at a Haim concert
DJ are you reading this??
Guy who has a hard time leaving college dorm decorations behind
As long as you frame the flag on your wall, you can’t be shunned TOO hard. She may disagree.
Patent nerd and fitness guy transitioning his focus from college hockey to golf
Strengthen your grip a bit. 3 knuckles visible on your left hand. Hold at the top a count longer than you want to. Skip a rock across a lake with your right arm in the downswing. Left hip open. Stretch.
Amanda Bynes in 2006
So you’re at a school dressing as a guy to cover for your brother when you’re actually a girl where Duke wants Olivia who likes the guy version of you whose brother is dating Monique so you hate Olivia who is with Duke to make you jealous because she thinks you’re a guy that in reality is actually crushing on Duke…. Who thinks you’re a guy
I close the exercise ring every day. But not by much.
Ope, felt this one
Trying my best to look like a dad while trying my hardest not to become a dad
Postmates reported in their 10-K that CVS and Walgreens were the most frequented locations for orders between 8-10am on Saturday and Sunday mornings
The doctor that let himself go during the stress of Med school and residency.
I always love seeing doctors, nurses, lawyers, etc ripping darts or housing chick fil a nightly. All the evidence in the world suggests against activities like that but the smartest folks in the world know we’re only human.
I need more time
“Yup, no problem, should have it over to you by EOD!”
Coastal grandma mixed with like London divorcee mixed with NYC UES mom mixed with Ina Garten mixed with DC twenty something professional mixed with belongs to a country club for the social calendar mixed with wants to live in Italy and only wear linen - so like preppy I guess?
I’d be willing to bet her Netflix account contains a who’s who of top tier Rom Coms and she’s had an all-too-real sex dream with either Hugh Grant or Matthew McConaughey.
Vineyard chic
To me this is like, - ohh I wear flowy sundresses and have an established skincare routine where I use creams that tout the benefits of calendula ! I text back-to-back in short sentences 7 messages at a time because it better represents what I’m saying in my head ! I haven’t looked directly into a camera lens for an Instagram photo since 2018 and have worked my way up at a post Series-B SaaS startup that ends in “ly” ! And I don’t like chard because it’s *too dry* but declare it a “bad day to be a Sauvy-B” via an Instagram story in Sonoma ! And you know what? I’m into it. Let your vineyard chic flag fly, girl.
Pre-Dad
Aspiring Little League coach myself
You can learn a lot from a guy like this
I aspire to always look as if I've just spent all day fly fishing on a skiff with Flounder and we're now headed in to a beach bar to swap fish stories and drink the bar out of beer
So over there is Flounder. Hey, Flounder.
As both a man of size, and a remarkably photogenic human being, I’d argue we’d all be so lucky as to spend a day fishing and telling stories clouded by domestic light beers together. You’re on the right track.
I try to make it look like I’m going camping. Last time I camped I was 16
You’re one of DOZENS of people across the country with an REI credit card, aren’t you.
A walking Nike air monarch
Dad?
Ex frat guy turned suburban husband
Yeah that’s par for the course around these parts
independent lady who sometimes has her shit together
*sometimes*
Aspirationally: coastal grandma/that girl but honestly southern sorority yo-pro
You can just say you LOVE white wine
I don’t think I’m your target audience. I’m a 31-year-old mom. I spend my weekends taking my kid to the pool at our country club. I get all of my life advice from TIBAL. I feel like I’d get along really well with Sally and Alyssa because we’re just Madewell girlies.
Au contraire, my friend. You fit right in. Glad to have you aboard. Admittedly I had to look up what TIBAL was and my God is it millennial culture distilled into a perfectly well designed site.
Grilling, chilling, & billing
T-shirt. Copyrighted. Thank you $$$.
Athleiseur
I think this person just turned wearing Lulu into an occupation? Again, T-shirt.
Business very casual
T-shirt. Bang.
1960s California Pool Party
I think this guy is alluding to being naked. Are you alluding to being naked?
Thursday afternoon happy hour at a calm-but-audible-din local bar. A ski house personified
Did I write this?? They know me better than me
Always planning her next trip.
I’ve realized that ~looking forward to something~ like a pal’s wedding, ski trip, bachelor party, etc is such a key to life. Gives you some focus and a way to cut through any sort of personal or professional monotony. If you’re feeling stuck in anything, try planning something down the line.
New York in the winter - dark colors with a touch of gold, a little cozy, a little fancy
So you’re a cocktail bar
People aren’t shocked that I’m an accountant
I love this answer. This guy knows his lane better than anyone. Outfits are all perfectly professional, conversation skews dull but not because of him, more because he’s tired of dealing with shit all day. His friends ask him to take a look at their taxes because they don’t know how to correctly report their crypto gains/losses and he politely declines. More than content with a local IPA and watching a game silently while chaos ensues behind him. Money? He’s got it, sure, but you wouldn’t know and he likes to keep it that way. Probably had his heart broken in high school and still thinks about it every now and then. Won’t answer your Excel questions and is the go-to when it comes to settling up expenses after buddies trips.
Should I email my fiancé for this? I believe it changes monthly at this point and she certainly has an opinion.
I would just to be safe.
Modern organized meets garden granola girl
Do you know how hard it is to spend less than $100 in Target? She does.
Lobbyistcore
New to me but I think we might be on to something here.
basic bitch in dark mode (basic white girl but with hella tats and piercings and kinda edgy clothes)
I think I’m gonna start using dark mode regularly? For some reason that makes all the sense in the world. Basic at the core but dresses it up with some edge - like an iPhone home screen that has all the usuals - Twitter, Instagram, FlyDelta, BofA, Snap, Mail but they’re custom icons made more stylish through a paid app.
CIA agent in South America supplying guns to rebels in the jungle
Nothing to see here, carry on.
I’m literally rooster from top gun
Wasn’t aware you were a fan, Miles. Thanks for reading.
Former party girl turned married homebody
Couple strong margs for this girl on a bachelorette party and there’s an entirely different character that’s unlocked. Different name and all. It’s like a switch flips. She sends an apology text from the airport on the way home in sweatpants and an “UNWELL” sweatshirt.
That awkward size between L and XL and you never know what size to order
Two options here. One, always go L in an aspirational sense. Something to strive for. Two, always go XL and find solace at the bottom of a chicken tenders basket.
Ex-athlete who gained 30 lbs with like a little more money now
It’s funny how waking up for 6am lifts and conditioning counteracted the caloric intake of an olympic swimmer and you think it’s just gonna last forever.
My wife has a scale with her friends: football guys, frisbee guys, and baseball guys. She claims I’m a mix of football and frisbee, whatever the hell that means.
Is this a real thing? I’m fascinated by the three categories here. Like you’d think that baseball guys and football guys fall into a relatively similar bucket? Frisbee guys, sure, I get that, but explain to me the difference in the other ones. Need your wife to follow up here.
Wannabe rich mom / girlboss hybrid
Which white SUV do you have your eye on?
I forgot to water my house plants
Me too
9-5 worker on the edge of giving it all up to be a ski bum
No joke, if I win the lottery, it’s buying a condo in a ski town, buying/opening a watering hole, and bartending there ~4 nights a week. A real players coach. I like where your head is at.
Office hot.
How many people would be in hot water if HR asked for your texts after a happy hour?
Broke almost-graduate of law school trying to carve my path socially and professionally. Lame but I think that’s majority of y’all’s audience
You’d be right. There’s also a pretty prominent pre-dad contingent apparently.
Mid-30’s who always wants to be coming from or going to the golf course
Who says you can’t write off your ClubCorp annual dues if you’re taking meetings on the course?
Blankets, tea, wildflowers & pink sunsets
This person definitely had a Tumblr
30 year old cool dad. Except I’m not a dad
There’s a theme here, huh.
Meeting her parents in the streets, washed up frat boy in the sheets. I hate that I just typed that.
Me too
Urban outfitters meets goodwill for a guayaki yerba mate to go to a bookstore then to eat Indian food
I bet you found the Lumineers before Ho Hey and consider thrifting a sport. How many stickers are on your hydro flask?
Tired
Succinct. Accurate.
I’m filling out this form instead of responding to emails at work. Will probably sneak out and head to a quiet bar and drink a couple pints while I move my finger along my laptop’s trackpad so I don’t go “away” on Teams.
Ah, yeah, there it is. *chefs kiss*.
I think we have something we can work with.
Seriously, to the THOUSANDS of you who took time out of your day to procrastinate fill out our survey, thank you. Helps us out a ton.
And if you you’d like to add your answers, the link is right here