PACK IT IN, GUYS

Not bad for a Friday. Doesn’t matter how deep you took it, you’re in a spot to throttle down and live to fight another day. Maybe you made some friends for life, maybe you’re now the proud co-owner of a hunting lease in east Texas, and maybe you’re on track to be a step-dad. Who knows. 

Or you’re luggage. 

Either way, load up the van, call the 3 Ubers, risk a scooter DUI, etc, and let that sneaky wave of hunger wash over you. Sure you can tee up tacos or quesadillas, but late-night pizza hasn’t let you down before and it won’t tonight. 

It’s a prime opportunity to invest in what is absolutely the best pizza I’ve ever had in my life, Via 313. Detroit-style thick yet light enough to keep you on your feet, Via puts a bow on the night and will have the rest of the crew saying things like “holy shit I didn’t know Austin had this in the arsenal??”. 

You polish off the night with a few fingers of bourbon while swapping tales of near-misses and “dude she was kinda into me right?”. SVP narrates a Nets/Clippers highlight package in the background while you lose members of the group to unruly queen bedrooms. 3:49am is the last thing you see when you plug your phone in and stare at the spinning ceiling. Good luck from here. 

Tomorrow morning can go a few ways, but most of them involve Advil, hair-of-the-dog, and kolaches. Maybe you mix in a textbook can-opener into the pool to shock the system. After that, you’re in business with a few options on Saturday: 

++: With a party van, you’re probably looking at extra space. With extra space and a solid house situation, you’re looking at after party potential. Not here to tell you how to live your life, but even the slightest opportunity gives the night some extra juice. 

Other solid late-night pizza options: Home Slice, Dominos Homemade Pan (do NOT slander this option), Pinthouse