Austin Bachelor Party: Choose Your Adventure

Let’s do this differently.

Google “bachelor party in XYZ city”. It’s an experience that usually takes you to some Thrillist or travel & leisure column written by someone out of your age demo. Half of it is paid promo and the activity du jour is a pedal tavern around the most popular bar district. They attempt to add some edge by referring you to ax throwing or a brewery in an up-and-coming district of town.

Which is fine. I’m not here to judge them or how you’re putting this thing together. What we’ll do here instead is give you the tools to be your own boss. That’s it for Step Brothers references, I promise.

If you’re expecting a pure list of spots to hit, great. It’s at the end of this whole thing. However, I know every Bachelor party is different, so we’ll jump into a little choose-your-adventure. It’s mostly just a shameless pageview hack, but I think it may be of use to you.

This is where you usually hear about the history of the city, the culture, the vibrance, the big enticing words that help you paint a picture of the town you’ll call home for a good 72 hours. I’m not here to do that. Austin is just a city of hot people with the personalities of golden retrievers, ridiculously good food, and a vibe that feels like adult Disneyland. Which is mostly irrelevant because what you care about is seeing the boys for the first time in a minute and trying to get the bride’s younger brother to go home with a divorced mother of three.

One caveat before we get going. These are places that I, a guy in his late 20s, enjoy and recommend in a group setting to a similar demo. There are wilder options, there are cheaper options, there are more expensive, family friendly, off-the-beaten-path, you-name-it options that aren’t listed. These are just firmly in the wheelhouse of a group around this age looking to have a good weekend.

Last thing. There are “pro tips” designated as ++: at the end of each section. They give you additional options that fit the bill. Deal? Deal.

Let’s get started. Choose your adventure: